Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

A lesson in self-care…

I very often tell my 6-year-old how much I thank him, appreciate him, couldn’t live without him, etc. for all he does – and you know why?! Because he HELPS OUT more than anyone could imagine, and I’m truly grateful for that!! I joke all the time that he does “everything but diapers” – but it’s actually true. This kid *actually* watches, entertains, wrangles his sisters while I’m cooking or doing laundry or the dishes or whatever else I might need to get done around the house. He’s *actually* there for the 2.5 minutes that I’m worried that Ari will climb out of her high chair and plummet to her death. He takes baths with them both so they have more fun (because they really do when he’s there). And when mom is yelling at everyone because she’s at her last straw, he comforts them and tells them what to do to not make me be so angry anymore (in a 6 year old’s way, but it honestly always calms me a bit too, lol). 

He does it all without question and with love, laughter, and a super genuine adoration for his baby sisters, nearly every time I ask him for the favor (hey, no one’s perfect; why should I expect him to be?!) My beautiful little 4-year-old niece Elizabeth assists him when she’s here, (we get her every other weekend and some holidays…standard “separated-parents scenario”) and it’s basically the cutest thing you’ve ever seen with the four of them. 

And then we come to today….today I told him to go take some time for himself. The girls were screaming at me for some dinner (which I was making for them at the time) and he was trying to help but you could tell he was tired. The kind of tired that I get at the end of the night. The kind of tired where you, yes, still love them so very much but maybe just want to run away forever kind of tired….

Self care is important. Really important. And I told him that. I strongly encouraged him to have a moment to himself when we got home,  because he had been with the girls all day while I was at work, and I knew he really needed it. Again, self-care is really important. It’s important for you and I, and it’s important for a six year old too, especially when he has baby twin sisters that he genuinely helps with day in and day out. 

And now he’s in the bathtub, teaching his girlies “how to blow bubbles” because he got a little recharge and came back to help for the night while dad’s still at work. I told him to take 5 minutes in his room but gave him half an hour (or more….I really never did ask him to come back downstairs…) to have for himself. When he hesitated at first, I told him it was important for him to take care of himself too. That even though I might need help, that it was important for him to take care of himself. And he totally did, and I was super proud. 😍😍

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Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

It’s 5 o’clock in the morning….

Aaaand I’m going so nuts, literally packing everything in the damn house for our first family “vacation” for an entire week away with the 5 of us. I mean, thank God the girls aren’t on formula anymore (bc you bet your ass I’d be bringing that Baby Brezza too if they were) but the amount of shit you need, or think you need anyway, for 3 young kids for a week in the middle of nowhere is maddening. Please, little blue pill, just get me through the night here…. 💊😳😬✌🏻😂

So fingers are crossed that we actually have a good time and all of that. I’m skeptical (especially bc alllllll of the siblings are gonna be there and plus who knows who else will show up lol) but this is as good as it’s getting for as far out as I can see right now, especially financially but even just logistically, so we’re gonna effing make the best of it!!

I was doing my “last shopping” earlier tonight for the trip (which, we still have to go first thing….meaning in a couple of hours…for some very, very last minute stuff anyway, smh…) and ran into one of my new mom friends. Well, when I say my new mom friend, what I really mean is that Logan has a new friend from teeball and those little friends tend to come with parents that you have to deal with regularly, like it or not. But this one seems great….cool, easy to talk to, seems like she drinks like a fish like me (which, if anyone can keep pace with me they immediately get bonus points in my book, lol). We shot the shit for like 10 full minutes where it was glorious not to care what I was supposed to be doing or who wanted what or who was beating on who or anything else that is the nonsense of my daily life right now. What a difference to effing feel normal, like you have friends in this God-forsaken town in the middle of effing nowhere lol. I grew up here and still feel like I have way more friends back in Newton. Making friends as an adult is the effing most awkward thing in the universe, man. Idk how the hell people without kids even do it at all because these days it seems like the only new friends I come across are because of my kid in all honesty! But I digress….

Soooooo ‪#momconfession: today I bought my daughters bathing suits (…bikinis…) that I’m honestly kind of horrified at, but they were the only cute, matching, in-their-size bathing suits at Walmart less than 12 hours before vacation, and we needed (“needed”) another set…..my obsession with dressing them alike has officially reached a new low….‬

But they’re soooooo cute tho…. 😍😍

Here’s to packing till the last minute, staying up all night, no one getting a bath lmfao, and to what better be a fucking great week away from reality…. 🍻✌🏻🇺🇸🎉👍🏻

Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

When you finally grow up….

The thing about when you finally grow up is that it doesn’t happen all at once. I mean, maybe for some people it does, but for me it didn’t. It took me the better part of 6 years worth of having kid(s), 7 years of marriage, and a late night trip to Walmart for essentials for me to get there. Cruising down the aisles with only trash bags and two gallons of milk in my arms, it hit me like a ton of bricks. All the shit I wanted – all of those cool things and impulse buys that you pass when having to go all the effing way to the back of the store for a gallon of milk – I saw them all so clearly that night for whatever reason…along with just when those impulse buys faded away for me, one by one through the years. Adulting at its finest, #truth ✌🏻.

Maybe it was from watching our wedding video with Logan earlier that day; maybe it was just that life was becoming so overwhelming and intolerable, honestly. And maybe it was just time. Looking at the “treat” of a king sized Reese’s I got for myself, since the kids are in bed after all, and the Kit Kat I got for Dan (because it would be inconsiderate to come home without something for him too), all while trying to go as quickly as possible so as not to lose my slick-mom-wine-buzz I’ve achieved tonight, it hits like a wrecking ball. It’s this wonderfully terrifying combination of hollow, accomplished, defeated pride that I can only imagine is what comes standard with a pack of 3 kids, a house you can’t afford and two jobs that aren’t cutting it. Yikes, lol 😳. Oh well. 

As I pull up to the McD’s window for my dinner (that yes, I am finally going to eat…after a fat bowl-skie or two when I get back home…) I remember that it was I who used to work that same late night drive-thru shift at a McD’s near the UCONN campus – with the same combination of nice, reasonable people like myself just trying to get some food real quick along with some dicks who were total assholes because they were drunk, or young, or just stupid, much like the ones in line with me right now – and I realize that while everything has changed, nothing has really changed at all…. 🤔😳🤦🏼‍♀️✌🏻

Adulthood, Bad Day, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

When you burn a candle at both ends….and then throw a lighter right in the middle while you’re at it….

I used to think things were hard…that life was hard. Life is hard, but my previous life – before the twins – doesn’t hold a candle to the torch my life now has become. To recap, I’ve gone back to work (long ago, and far too soon but that’s another story for another day), and then had the crazy idea that it would be smart to go back to school for nursing…while having infant twins and a 5 year old, being the sole income for the household right now, and well, you know, just having the rest of life and a home and family to deal with on top of it all. This will be all well and good in the long run, but let’s be real, it’s batshit crazy right now. Talk about climbing an uphill battle on the daily, for real.

I used to think I was tired. Like before I had kids I thought I was tired…that is fucking hilarious to me now. Tired from what, Christina? Late night bong rips? Sleeping in till “only” 10:30? To say now that I’m tired doesn’t do justice to the literal exhaustion I’ve reached, both physically and mentally, at this point. I wake up tired, I feel like I’m dying half the time (if not more), and I drink wine as much as water these days to get me through to the next. Which probably doesn’t help things, but it certainly makes me feel better or at least care a bit less that the world is hanging off my shoulders. I cry, frequently, at the mere thought of everything I have to do, things that aren’t getting done, things I’ve messed up, how I probably lost my patience with the kids more (like way more) than is fair to them, how they don’t get enough of my time, pretty much over anything. I’m tearing up right now just putting it all down. But I have to get it out. It’s toxic and it’s eating away at me, not particularly slowly I’ll add.

They say when it rains it pours, well – this past week has been one hell of a tsunami-shit-storm if I’ve ever known one. First my other half of intake was out for a week starting last Wednesday, which is a well-deserved vacation on her part, but when there are typically just two of you to take care of an entire department and one leaves, it makes for a whole hell of a lot more work and frustration trying to cover EVERYTHING in the world all at once. Thursday my little sister K decides to throw a shit-fit and move out of my mom’s house (again) over a fight that I honestly couldn’t even tell you whether it was huge or tiny because I’ve now heard no less than 17 different versions of what happened. Friday my brother and sister-in-law N & T, along with my niece and infant nephew, moved back up to Maine…and while we all knew it was coming (and honestly all felt it was time, that this had well run its course and was no longer a great situation for anyone) it hit super hard once it was real and the day was here, moving truck and all, that they’d be leaving for good. Significantly more tears were shed than I thought I had in me, and it turns out that it was pretty crushing to have them actually go.

Oh, and did I mention that along with my mom (who works overnight shifts, and then takes the twins most days while I’m at work), my sister and sister-in-law were the ones primarily watching the girls? Cuz yea, that’s the case. So in two days I lost 85% of the help that made me feel less bad that I’ve been running my mom ragged watching my kids all the time…for free… My stepdad and brothers totally help too, and I can’t discredit that, but T was doing the vast majority of the work with them once my mom left for her job each day at 3:30 (along with caring for my 2 year old niece and 2 month old nephew of her own), plus the girls adore both of their aunties, and now there’s just plain fewer people in the house to help out every day. And with twins, you need all hands on deck, always, because it’s just a shit show day in and day out.

Dan finally got a job, but it’s a part time and kind of shitty gig that now just leads to more complication of who’s going to get Logan off the bus, be home for this or that, who is gonna make dinner and keep the house in one piece (which Dan has been doing wonderfully while I’ve been in school…we’d be living in squalor if it weren’t for all that he has been doing). But I genuinely have to wonder if the job is even worth the extra headache of dealing with it all…and I’m not totally sure we’ll even be breaking even once you consider that our benefits and stuff will likely get reduced (if not eliminated) once I have to report his first paycheck. I can’t deal, where’s the wine….

I thought I’d feel better putting everything down…I thought I’d see that it’s really not so bad after all. No. Just nope. Now I’m at work bawling because I really feel like I’m losing at everything I’m trying to do because I can’t put enough effort into any one thing anymore. I’m beyond exhausted, our “budget” is a freaking joke, I’m not eating right, I’m drinking entirely too much, I feel like I’m falling apart…I’m just not adulting as well as I should be. I know I can do better than this. But I don’t feel like I have it in me. I’m beyond overwhelmed. What have I gotten myself into?!? We’ve all got our demons, but this week it really feels like mine are just taking over. 

Rant done, unfortunately the tears are not…

Adulthood, Babies, Bad Day, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

Ari’s ER Adventure…

Kind of a rough post after 2 (or more?) months without an update, but there’s only one of me and so much to do on the regular lol. But I don’t want the fuss of posting this to Facebook in realtime and I can’t not document the experience either…
So. I’m in the ER with a sick baby for the very first time….and it’s pretty terrifying. With the exception of Logan’s broken arm at the end of this past summer, none of my kids had ever had an ER trip, something I was pretty proud of. If you know me at all, you know I’m not an alarmist, a germaphobe, or someone who runs to the doctor’s office over every little cough or scrape. Much less a visit to the ER. They basically have to be dying for me to go in. But after a long conversation first with the on-call nurse and then the on-call doctor, we decided to play it safe (so as to make sure she isn’t dying…) and head down to the hospital. Logan cried when I said he couldn’t come and just did not want to hear about how boring the ordeal would be for him or how I didn’t want him in the hospital exposed to crap that he didn’t need to be exposed to. So I kissed my teary eyed five-year-old good night and headed into the dark with my middle child Arielle (my older twin…by like 30 seconds…aka Sick Child…) to go to the ER and see just what it is that’s going on. 

12/22/16 9:00pm – we check into Day Kimball’s ER, the local hospital in the area. Place is along the lines of that quote “though she be but little, she is fierce” cuz it’s basically a full service hospital in a tiny, rural area. You get sent to a major city for treatment if you need more than they can give you here, and like it becomes a no-joke situation. Anyway, we get checked in, smooth and easy and everyone fawns over how cute Sick Child is. And then I tell them she has a twin and I think one just dropped to the floor in awe lol. 

9:15p – We get into an ER room and they take Sick Child’s temp…103.3, which is even higher than the 103.0 that made me call the pedi on-call in the first place at about 7:30. Even more troubling, this is after giving her Tylenol at 7:45ish which should have brought it right down. They tell us to hang tight, make us comfortable on the bed, and Sick Child passes out nice and hard for one of the first times all day.  

10:10p – They finally bring her some Motrin to work on that fever, which of course wakes her up and she goes back to grunting and moaning at me so that I know full well that she is not feeling well. Dr says she’ll be in to evaluate soon. 

10:38p – No sign of Dr yet, but Sick Child has fallen back asleep so she’ll probably be here any minute. In other news, I’ve figured out how to use Snapchat filters. You’re welcome in advance, world…

10:45p – Dr comes in (told you it would be any minute now), evaluates, and orders chest X-ray and does RSV test swab. And now we wait….

11:10p – Chest X-ray done, featuring this contraption which looks like it’s from the mid-1800’s or so. Sick child is not pleased. 

11:30pm – While waiting for the X-ray and RSV test results, Sick Child decides to try out some new looks for Christmas Day festivities to keep the mood light lol #snapchatfilters #defgonnaoverusethese

12/23, 1:00am(ish) – I’m woken by the sweetest, gentelest arm shake from the Dr at the ER. Sick Child and I had apparently both fallen asleep… X-rays negative for pneumonia, but she’s positive for RSV and her breathing is still way faster than it should be (and it’s been hours at this point). They’re transferring her to CT Children’s Medical Center so she can be admitted and observed (for at least) overnight. They say it could be 24-48 hours though….I’m seriously hoping that will not be the case. But anything at all for baby girl to feel better and be safe. Massive texting with husband and mom to figure out logistics ensues. 

1:40am – Sick Child and I take our first ride in an ambulance  together…not how I’d have chosen to try out an ambulance ride (though, really what scenario is good to try an ambulance ride anyway?) Sick Child sleeps like a baby (see what I did there lol) nearly the whole ride dispite some serious bumpiness. 

2:40a – We arrive at CT Children’s Medical Center (CCMC) and Sick Child has perked back up during the ambulance ride. Oxygen levels back up to normal, but they’re still gonna admit her and monitor everything. Nurses and Drs start checking all the symptoms and going through all the questions again. I’m honestly exhausted at this point, physically and mentally. Did I mention I was also up till like 3:30a last night finishing Big Brother’s school gifts for his little classmates? Cuz yea, I was…

3:30a – Mean nurses come in to start an IV drip on Sick Child, poke her poor little hand and create this big wrap around her arm so she doesn’t pull it out. She’s so lethargic at this point that instead of wailing like I expected when stuck, she just moans at me some more and looks at me like, “make them stop mommmm…” **Disclaimer: the nurses were actually very sweet and nice and wonderful. They just put a needle in my sweet baby girl and it was no fun at all to have to watch, that’s all. 

3:50a – Nurses come in to try a nebulizer/albuterol treatment on Sick Child to see if that helps the breathing at all. Dr says that it is kind of unlikely to do much, but that it doesn’t hurt and if it does work then that’s a good step in the right direction. Adorable mini dinosaur nebulizer is used, and I’m a little upset that it seems inappropriate to take a picture of its cuteness. 

4:10a – Nebulizer, as predicted, does not do much for Sick Child and we get wheeled in to the respiratory distress room to put her on a high-flow oxygen line. They suction out her nose and throat (and lungs maybe? That tube looked pretty long…) and what appears to be half her body weight in mucus comes out and goes away in a tube to somewhere that must be infinitely disgusting. High-flow oxygen is started and Sick Child is noticably more comfortable almost immediately. 

4:45 – Grandma arrives in the ER just in time as they’re about to admit Sick Child. I’m just relieved that if I suddenly pass out from exhaustion that someone will be there to catch her…

5:10a – Sick Child and I get wheeled up to the PICU and when we arrive at her room and I see a crib, I realize I’m going to have to put her down so the medical team can do what they need to…for the first time during this whole ordeal I start to tear up but offer her to the mercy of the professionals anyway…


5:50a – Deep sleep finally (for her) while grandma and I sit and stare at her. And so ends the adventure of the ER…

Ari’s stay would last 5 days, 4 of which were in the PICU, putting us in the hospital for the babies’ first Christmas. Hellish and terrifying but nothing to make you realize what you’re made of like watching your little one fighting like that in a hospital bed. This is where the crazy idea to go to nursing school truly stems from…. 


Adulthood, Babies, Bad Day, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

That Post You Don’t Want to Post but You Have to because that’s Just Where You Are Right Now

Omg so….I don’t even know where we’re at with stories of the twins and all the happy nonsense I typically post. This is not that post. I’ve had a hellish week, a little wine, and want to vent to the world about just wtf like wtf has happened here. 

My life feels like hell. Like that wonderful “I have three healthy,wonderful kids and a great husband” kind of hell but I can assure you it does exist. I’ve had awful anxiety basically all month but especially the past week because I sucked dry my supply of good anxiety drugs too early in the month and now I’m SOL to deal with things on my own. I self medicate with wine. I pretend I know what the hell I’m doing, but I haven’t got a clue. 

I feel like I must definitely spend more time with my “more difficult” twin and feel bad about that. Whether or not it’s even true is another story entirely. They each have their days, but Dani seems to have more than Ari if I think about it. I feel like I have just not got a clue what the hell in supposed to be doing as I try (SO FUCKING HARD) to fulfill both the needs of my now 4 month old twins and my 5 year old who just started kindergarten. I feel like I’m failing constantly. I feel like I can’t keep it together. Like for real. 

And that’s how this week has been. Just. Fucking. Awful. Ugh…

Twins

And on an Entirely Different Note (but Completely Necessary to Share…) 

Re: this article:

The Racism I’ve Experienced As A White Mom Who Adopted Black Kids 

I saw something else posted earlier this week about the whole “Black lives matter” movement that I’ve been brushing off with my “all lives matter” (white) view of the world that completely changed my mind:
#BlackLivesMatter doesn’t mean other lives don’t. Like, people who say “Save the rainforests” aren’t saying “Fuck all other types of forests”

I can’t lie…having an adopted black brother myself, I’ve falsely put myself into the category she describes where “I can’t possibly be racist at all…” because of such. She’s right though, in reality I’m no less (and no more) biased about anyone different from myself, other than my own brother, than I would be had he not been a part of our family. And I’ll also admit that I do (or did) assume that he won’t be treated any differently than my other siblings because he’s part of a white family (because this somehow makes him less black? Nope, think again…) 

What I really have to remember is that while he’s out with his friends, while he’s out alone, hell even when he’s out with his white family (or really some white some Hispanic if we’re being technical), people see him as black first. If he’s out alone, the police won’t know he’s from a “nice white family” and no harm at all to the world. He will be treated as a black kid which will be subject to whomever he may be interacting with at that moment. My 10 year old brother doesn’t have a hateful bone in his body, and yet the world will implicitly judge him as somehow more “dangerous” or “threatening” than his white siblings. 

It scares me and it’s so sad that this has to be something we say to our black children, but she puts the advice perfectly in the article: “When Trayvon Martin was killed, I had to sit Clay down and tell him if he is ever involved with police that he be respectful, EVEN IF THEY GOT IT WRONG AND HE IS INNOCENT. I told him to comply, put his hands up, be respectful, don’t resist. I told him to do whatever they want and when he gets to the police station to call me and we will work it out from there.”
Is this the best we can do as Americans?? As humans?? #werebetterthanthis #spreadlove #wagmorebarkless ✌🏼️🇺🇸👦🏻👧🏼👦🏽👧🏾👦🏿🇺🇸✌🏼

Twins

28 Days Later…and then 20 Days after that…

Soooo…we had the twins…. [excited screams] 7 weeks ago tomorrow lol. I have been meaning to post for quite some time but I’ve been, well, rather busy with newborn twins and all. But better late than never…

May 21, 2016 ~ Arielle Piper ~ 1:58pm, 4 lbs 9.5 oz, 17 inches ~ Daniela Rylee ~ 1:59pm, 4 lbs 11 oz

For all the insanity that was their brother’s birth story, theirs is equally uneventful. Water broke Saturday morning around 8:15am and by 2:00 that afternoon we had babies in our arms. Straight off to the c-section this time, I wasn’t about to play around with two making their entrance. Though to be fair with the girls I did go into legit labor on my own (unlike their brother who needed a pitocin line to get things moving) and with them both head down, I had the choice to go for a VBAC….the surgeon even mentioned it as they were wheeling me into the OR. But it was a hard pass on my end. Plus, I’d forgotten exactly how much contractions suck a bag of dicks and wanted to be done with all of that nonsense pretty much as soon as I walked into the hospital.

IMHO the c-section was the best decision I could have made…recovery was SO much easier without having the added exhaustion of roughly 2 days of labor and 5 hours of unsuccessful pushing, only to be under general anesthesia for the birth itself. This time I actually got in trouble the second day for going pee by myself too early. What can I say, classic overachiever I am and all. The girls were totally healthy, albeit just tiny little things at roughly 4 & 3/4 pounds a piece. No NICU time, no special interventions. I was even nursing them like a champ when we left the hospital just 4 days later. A wonderful little story to cherish. #Delicatwins 

And then, of course, we came home and the reality of a life with an almost-five-year-old and twin newborns set in. And I blinked and 7 weeks have flown by. I imagine I’ll say pretty much the same thing when they’re 7 months and then 7 years old down the road….

So much to talk about…the ludicracy  of going back to work at 8 or 9 or even 12 weeks postpartum is a big one right now. But for tonight I’ll call this a win, after all I’ve been writing this post for the better part of 7 weeks as it is and it’s nearly midnight so I don’t want to have to go back and change my titles and shit lol 😉

I promise, very soon I’ll divulge all the insanity that exists in the world of raising twin baby girls…

Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

Wombos Maxima, Indeed…

Although I will concede that ultrasounds are not, in fact, the most reliable of measurement sources at the end of a pregnancy, I’m still reveling in the awesomeness of myself that I’m managing to haul around 10.5 lbs of healthy Delicata girl babies every day now. Yup, 10.5 lbs…Ari measured at 5 lbs even, Dani came in at 5 lbs 8 oz. And I’m not even stuck on bedrest or making everyone around me do everything for me. Pretty badass. And wombos maxima indeed at this point. These not-so-teeny little girls will be making their appearance any day now, at the very most 11 days from now they’ll be evicted if they haven’t shown up by then. And of course, I’m looking as huge as ever lol… 

Being on week 4 now of my maternity leave, I have an inordinate amount of time to waste on Facebook and other junk on my phone, but nothing has been annoying me quite like FB has lately. Maybe it’s because everything annoys me these days…maybe it’s because the people I know really are annoying. Maybe a little of both. I don’t know. But what I do know is I’m about 3 annoying posts away from deleting the app altogether and never looking back. 

I can’t tell what’s the worst – the idiots on my page rambling improperly spelled garbage within a sea of bad grammar, the endless “quiz” nonsense posts that tell you your “5 top FB friends” or your fucking “Disney spirit animal” or whatever the fuck else, or if it’s the self-righteous, “perfect-life” posts from people who clearly have everything figured out (and done right…) It’s all junk at this point to me. Right up there on my list with mom-shaming (or choice-shaming in general really) and having to listen to people chew. Maybe these babies just really need to vacate so I can go back to being a normally cynical person, instead of the hell-beast that pregnancy has once again turned me into. Or at least just give me my wine back, then things won’t bother me so much (or I won’t care if they do lol). 

11 more days…but feel free to come sooner girls. We’re ready 😉

Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

Lies I Told Myself about Maternity Leave

So I did realize the other day that I haven’t posted any pictures yet of my hugeness, and let’s be honest – if you’re reading a twin mom blog you obviously want to see some pictures of the grotesqueness as it develops. So here’s a shot from last week – I’m 33 weeks in these. 

Good, got that out of the way, at least once. Now in these I do look roughly like a normal woman at full term, but keep in mind that I still have 5 weeks left till delivery here (and 7 weeks until my actual due date). So I still have a lot of growing to be done, as do the girls. They’re weighing in at just over 4 lbs each as of my 34 week appointment yesterday. So while they’ve got a little meat on their bones just in case they decide to come early, I still want to keep them in the oven at least a few more weeks to fatten up and all of that. 

And of course, so I can take full advantage of all the perks of maternity leave for a few more weeks (and by that I basically mean the receiving of short term disability while I’m home sleeping 16 hours a day). Because, as the title suggests, I have told myself a lot of lies about what maternity leave would entail, and at the end of the day (days…) I basically just sleep and eat and turn food into humans while watching old seasons of Game of Thrones. 

1. I’ll have the girls’ room ready in the first week – you know, just in case they decide to come early, everything will be all ready for them to come home. HAHAHA. The whole first week, to be fair, I loaded with appointments and other things I’d been putting off for months so it was pretty busy anyway, aside from the fact that straight exhaustion has taken over. Either way, the girls’ room isn’t done yet. 

2. I’ll get their clothes all organized so I’ll know exactly what they still need. I surprised myself with how much laundry I did get done for them during the first week, but alas…their closet, much like the rest of their room, is still not quite finished. 

3. I’ll catch up on that homework I’ve been meaning to do. Oh, did I mention, I technically still take classes and my current one doesn’t end until May 3rd? Ugh…yea there’s that. And the homework that still isn’t getting done for it. Mainly because of the aforementioned constant sleeping…

4. I’ll get bored having all this time and nothing to do. Given that I’ve been working since I was roughly 14 years old and have only had the 6 week stint when Logan was born where I wasn’t working, I’ll surely go crazy with too much time on my hands, right?? Wrong. Still a very long to-do list lurking, the ever impending arrival of the Delicatwins, and the pull of sheer exhaustion dragging me to the couch or my bed constantly. Granted, I’m only a week and a half in so maybe there will come a time when I’m just swimming in “extra time” but we’re definitely not there yet. 

5. I’ll write more blog posts. Well, seeing as how I’m already 10 days in and this is my first post so far, it’s fair to say this one has met the same fate as the other lies I’ve told myself. But hey, who knows, maybe I really will start posting more like I always intend to. Maybe….

I could go on for quite a while, but basically it comes down to more shit that’s not getting done because I grossly overestimated the amount of energy I’d have to put into said activities. I guess growing two humans is probably as good of an excuse to sleep all day as you’re gonna get. Here’s to a few more weeks of it left!!