Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

Lies I Told Myself about Maternity Leave

So I did realize the other day that I haven’t posted any pictures yet of my hugeness, and let’s be honest – if you’re reading a twin mom blog you obviously want to see some pictures of the grotesqueness as it develops. So here’s a shot from last week – I’m 33 weeks in these. 

Good, got that out of the way, at least once. Now in these I do look roughly like a normal woman at full term, but keep in mind that I still have 5 weeks left till delivery here (and 7 weeks until my actual due date). So I still have a lot of growing to be done, as do the girls. They’re weighing in at just over 4 lbs each as of my 34 week appointment yesterday. So while they’ve got a little meat on their bones just in case they decide to come early, I still want to keep them in the oven at least a few more weeks to fatten up and all of that. 

And of course, so I can take full advantage of all the perks of maternity leave for a few more weeks (and by that I basically mean the receiving of short term disability while I’m home sleeping 16 hours a day). Because, as the title suggests, I have told myself a lot of lies about what maternity leave would entail, and at the end of the day (days…) I basically just sleep and eat and turn food into humans while watching old seasons of Game of Thrones. 

1. I’ll have the girls’ room ready in the first week – you know, just in case they decide to come early, everything will be all ready for them to come home. HAHAHA. The whole first week, to be fair, I loaded with appointments and other things I’d been putting off for months so it was pretty busy anyway, aside from the fact that straight exhaustion has taken over. Either way, the girls’ room isn’t done yet. 

2. I’ll get their clothes all organized so I’ll know exactly what they still need. I surprised myself with how much laundry I did get done for them during the first week, but alas…their closet, much like the rest of their room, is still not quite finished. 

3. I’ll catch up on that homework I’ve been meaning to do. Oh, did I mention, I technically still take classes and my current one doesn’t end until May 3rd? Ugh…yea there’s that. And the homework that still isn’t getting done for it. Mainly because of the aforementioned constant sleeping…

4. I’ll get bored having all this time and nothing to do. Given that I’ve been working since I was roughly 14 years old and have only had the 6 week stint when Logan was born where I wasn’t working, I’ll surely go crazy with too much time on my hands, right?? Wrong. Still a very long to-do list lurking, the ever impending arrival of the Delicatwins, and the pull of sheer exhaustion dragging me to the couch or my bed constantly. Granted, I’m only a week and a half in so maybe there will come a time when I’m just swimming in “extra time” but we’re definitely not there yet. 

5. I’ll write more blog posts. Well, seeing as how I’m already 10 days in and this is my first post so far, it’s fair to say this one has met the same fate as the other lies I’ve told myself. But hey, who knows, maybe I really will start posting more like I always intend to. Maybe….

I could go on for quite a while, but basically it comes down to more shit that’s not getting done because I grossly overestimated the amount of energy I’d have to put into said activities. I guess growing two humans is probably as good of an excuse to sleep all day as you’re gonna get. Here’s to a few more weeks of it left!! 

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Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

T’its all good…

Just unfollowed a breastfeeding FB page because they were too crunchy, bordering really on militant, even for me. Yes, even for me… 

Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m all for breastfeeding. Like very much so. I actually don’t understand the choice to formula feed, as in doing so not because breastfeeding isn’t working and you have to make sure the baby is fed, but as your choice from the get-go. I’d love to have a conversation with someone about it, because I’m honestly just curious and not judging whatsoever but haven’t had the opportunity to hear anyone else explain it. And I happen to be polite enough not to make people explain themselves for their parenting choices when it comes up in casual public contexts. I really don’t care how anyone feeds their baby as long as they’re being fed, I’m just curious about the choice to not even give breastfeeding a try. But that’s beside the point. 

At the opposite end of the playing field, there are the breastfeeding moms who insist on taking their shirts off for every feed, regardless of where they are, and then berating said formula moms for their inability to parent properly…these are the kinds moms who were running this particular FB page. Militant. 🙄 I genuinely don’t know what the big deal about having a small amount of modesty out in public is. I don’t understand why people freak out about any breastfeeding at all in public either, but much like being at the beach, we do all have a choice as to how much (or how little) of ourselves to expose. 

Personally, I’ll admit that I’m more on the shy side of the fence when it comes to the public nudity. Sober at least, when I’m good and sauced I pretty much couldn’t care less about anything lol. But maybe that’s why I don’t get the big deal of trying to cover just a little bit, because I’m already going to try and do that either way based on my personal preferences. But it just doesn’t seem all that difficult to not have an entire tit flopped out on the table…I’m not even talking about covering with a blanket or nursing cover, I think you can be reasonably well covered once there is a latch just by the way you hold the baby and also based in the kind of shirt you’re wearing. Like if you have a turtleneck on, maybe don’t try to pull your boob through the neck piece. Go with the lift-up from the waist. Is it really that hard?

And this FB page, given my thoughts right there, would have absolutely trashed both my opinion and my very “loyalty” to the breastfeeding cause and to women in general, just because I don’t see the need to be flinging titties all over the damn place veiled as basic feeding necessity. It seems more obnoxious than that. Like, I don’t care if a guy is peeing in some bushes…but when he starts waving his dick all around in my face then yea, I might start getting offended at that point. And honestly it’s not even that I disagree with moms who choose to breastfeed however they want to. What do I care?? Flash your titties all over the damn place as far as I’m concerned. But don’t be surprised that the rest of the world isn’t as accepting of it. You have to kind of understand that not everyone feels the same way, and you might get side glances or comments just as someone who chooses to have green hair or many facial piercings or any other type of “non-norm” decisions might. And YES (sigh), I get and sympathize that breastfeeding should be totally normal in all of its forms, etc etc etc, but let’s be real…right now we’re just not quite there yet. Be glad you live in 2016 where we are a lot closer to it being the norm than the moms in the 1960’s for example who were told that breastfeeding was only for poor people and that babies were better off drinking formula. We’ve come a long way baby…

Rant over. Anyway, point is I’m sick of the mom shaming, and it definitely comes from all directions. 

Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

Best. Weekend. Ever. 

Admittedly I should have written this post 6 days ago when I was still in the glow of said best weekend ever. But hey, maybe writing about it will bring me back a little bit…

So last Friday my OB was oh so kind as to promise that I only had to make it through two more weeks of work and then she’d write me out to start maternity leave, and I’d start getting short term disability. Now I won’t go on a soapbox about the problems with America and family leave, nor the fact that we’re classifying pregnancy/childbirth as a “disability,” but obviously we’re regrettably behind the rest of the world as far as ensuring that new or expanding families get taken care of and don’t go bankrupt trying to bond with their new babies. Like I said, don’t get me started lol…

But who cares about any of that when they just said I have a real, finite time before I get to leave the hellhole of a job I have?!? (I’m whining, it’s not really that bad, but I do hate it and I’m so, so done with it like 3 months ago). No but seriously, I sang “Oh Happy Day” like Sister Act that Friday when she told me that. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I could probably have run a marathon on all the adrenaline that was coursing through me. AN END!! And more than 4 days before my scheduled c-section even, which had previously been the game plan and would have meant another 6 weeks of work after what I have left to work as it is. And as long as all goes well, it means I’ll have real time before they arrive to get things ready at home or just sleep 16 hours a day, or whatever the hell I want to do till they vacate my body. With Logan, I literally called out of work the day my water broke and we went to the hospital, so the prospect of real leave time before the arrival was golden. It was pure bliss hearing that news, my body didn’t hurt excessively for like a whole 18 hours I swear. 

So there was that, which was plenty all on its own, and then on Sunday our friends threw us an amazing shower. Like, I was seriously impressed and that’s the kind of shit I rock at. It was a shower like I’d have put on, and not to be a bitch but that’s a big compliment. The girls were of course well spoiled, and their wardrobe is definitely starting to fill out (thank God, because little as they may be, those clothes add up really freaking quick). Definitely one of my favorites was the super cute matching onesie/tutu/hair band set made by one of our good friends:  Needless to say, last Monday I was riding pretty high. The effects have worn off, especially after a long week of work (arguably one of the longer weeks, of course). But one down, only one left…five days is all I have to pull through…and then let the nesting begin!! (And/or the excessive sleeping, you know…whatever works…)