Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

To Work or Not To Work??

That is the question of the hour….well, sort of…

Just short of 2 hours from my latest ultrasound and 26 week appointment, I’m contemplating what the coming weeks will be like should they decide to put me on bed rest. It’s kind of a double edged sword…like, sure it’d be nice not to have to go to work anymore – especially since I really don’t love anything about the job or the 40-minutes-each-way commute that complicates all plans as we get closer to “go” time. But at the same time, there are financial considerations of course that have their own implications if I have to leave work at this point (health insurance, Short Term Disability pay, not enough paid time earned up between now and when the STD kicks in, etc…) 

But even more so than that is the dual fear that A) we’re completely totally not ready for these babies whatsoever yet, like as in they have a nursery with a bunch of stuff just hanging out ready to be re-washed and prepared and about 6 outfits total for them to wear (hell, our shower isn’t even for another 4 weeks…); and B) they’re totally not ready for us just yet either…I mean sure, 26 weeks is past the threshold of viability, but just barely, and their birth at this point would mean months and months of time in the NICU and struggles just to stay alive and get healthy. Not to mention the lasting effects of such prematurity moving forward in their lives. Scary shit…

So what is it that even brings the bed rest question into my head right now? Well there are the increasingly frequent contractions, which at this point are very most likely just Braxton Hicks and totally harmless and normal. Until they aren’t. Like every effing symptom of pregnancy, it’s normal until it isn’t. Puking is normal, until it lands you in the hospital and on an IV. Running warm constantly is normal, until your core temp spikes for hours and you start to literally cook your baby(/ies) within yourself. So BH’s yes, they’re normal and even more common/early/frequent with twins…until they’re actually changing the cervix and throwing you into preterm labor. Which is something I can’t know without the aid of an ultrasound tech who knows what the hell she’s looking at, or at the least an OB who can take a peek and see what she thinks. Then there’s this other thing – “pelvic pressure” – which I’m not totally certain even what the hell that means but it’s another sign of preterm labor and that’s pretty much my mom-paranoia topic of the moment. Like, it definitely feels like someone is wrenching my hips open as though giant thumbs are at my back and their hands are prying open my pelvis from behind. But I have twins sitting side-by-side in my uterus and growing like freaking weeds so what the hell should I expect?! 

ALSO, my Logan has increasingly been talking about the babies coming as though it’s impending like days and not a couple months…I’m trying hard to chalk that up to an excited 4 year old getting siblings for the first time, but there’s also this little voice in my head saying “kids just know these things sometimes….” so we’re back in the land of mom paranoia there too. Ugh….

Regardless, obviously hoping just for healthy babies. Even hoping for slightly big babies for date, since the danger of preterm labor is SO much higher with twins and my Logan was a peanut at full-term to begin with anyway. Definitely hoping to pass my glucose test too, since the thought of a world without binge eating ice cream to feed two hungry humans (three hungry humans, let’s be honest…) is a world I don’t want to be a part of – cue a sassy new song for Ariel there… 

And I’m really, really, REALLY hoping these little monkeys get over their stage fright and show off their lady bits (or otherwise) so I can more confidently start decking their room out in pink, buying cute little dresses, and maybe someday even finally come up with names for them… Girls – no one in this family is shy, your mother least of anyone, so it’s time you learned to follow suit… πŸŽ€πŸŽ€πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜˜


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