Adulthood, Babies, Parenting, RealTalk, Sarcastic, Twins

20 little fingers, 20 little toes; a lifetime ahead filled with tutus and bows!!

The Twins are 2 girls…surprise!!! Now that the initial shock has worn off, I finally have the brain space that’s needed to go into the news we got a couple weeks ago. Honestly, to say I was shocked is a gross understatement; I think it’s more accurate to say I was devastated. I don’t think I’d ever (or we’d ever, my husband included) really appreciated how much we *love* having our little boy – there’s just that extra special bond between a momma and her son that’s a different world entirely than anything else in existence. Of course you love your child for being your child, there’s never been any doubt there, but the absolute adoration for the fact that he is a boy had definitely been underestimated right up until the moment they said the second twin was “most likely” a girl. I was crushed to find out that we wouldn’t have another son…

Now, to be fair, Baby A was uncooperative for the entirety of the nearly 2 hour anatomy scan they did. They checked back in on her several times, but not only were her little legs crossed, she was also facing backwards the whole time. The tech said she was “80-90% sure” that A was a girl, but that the positioning was a real killer for being able to be certain. Baby B had her legs crossed at first too, but did eventually reveal that she was a girl for us (apparently, anyway…I didn’t ever actually see the girl parts, as the tech didn’t point them out specifically…but I suppose I trust her judgement). So if I’m being genuinely truthful, I think my husband and I are still holding out hope in that 10-20% margin that A will end up being a boy. I see my OB in 2 days for a regular checkup and I’m going to beg and plead to see if she’ll take a look so we can know for sure. 

My reaction to the news was pretty surprising, even to myself. We’d been seriously hoping that they were one of each, and I’d joked that “of course it’ll be two girls…” but I don’t think I ever really believed that to be true. I was actually terrified that that would be the outcome. The day after we found out, I literally cried that whole afternoon; that first day I think I was just so stunned that I couldn’t even process it yet…and honestly just thinking about it all I have tears welling up once again. I have 5 younger brothers, I have my son…I get boys. I know what to do with them. I have every single piece of clothing and every toy that Logan has ever had, just waiting for my next little boy. What do you mean my entire world is going to change to pink and girly and completely unknown?!

I even wondered if I’d have felt the same way if they’d told me I was having 2 boys, since that would mean no girls at all for us…my husband thinks I would have been just as upset, but I’m not so sure. Actually, he’s probably right – I guess I would be bummed that we’d never get a little girl of our own. Especially for Dan; I might not have cared quite as much myself, but Dan really wanted a girl this time around…he even cheered a little when they told us that Baby B was a girl. But he was pretty stunned himself after the news of two girls came later during the scan. Even Logan didn’t quite know how to react…at first he told me I was wrong, that it was actually one of each. Then he was upset for maybe 30 seconds, and after that he was pretty OK with it. He’s basically in the same boat that we are – there’s not much we can do about it, so we might as well get excited, lol. I’d be willing to bet I’ll get a lot of shit for feeling that way, but hey – what’s the point of having a blog if you can’t be honest about what you’re going through.

 Obviously I’m happy for two healthy babies; everything looks great and they’re growing and right on track and have no issues that we have found at this point. Everyone else is excited for them and some people, my mom and sister included, are very, very thrilled with the news. And once I started filling up the baby registry, I realized how much fun girls are to shop for (arguably much more fun than boys) and finally started to think about the fun girl things we’d get to do with them – dance classes, mani/pedis, the DRESSES, etc… The news has sunk in and we’re finally talking about names and colors for the nursery and all of that fun stuff that comes with two new babies on the way. After they’re here I’m sure that we’ll never be able to imagine life any other way and I’m quite sure our lives will revolve around them the same way they revolve around Logan now. Of course, now that we’re adjusted to it we’ll end up finding out otherwise at my appointment Thursday, but hey – after the initial news, I think we can handle pretty much anything that comes our way!!